It’s not about the pizza
If you’re new, this is Friday’s Pizza. Each week, I share a little of what I’m learning about food, community, and the ways we care for one another. It started as a simple thing, making pizza at home on Friday nights. But as it turns out, gathering around a meal can do a lot of good.
I recently bumped into someone I hadn’t seen in a while. I asked how they were, and they told me. None of it was good. One hard thing after another. They kept apologizing for ‘dumping it all on me.’
But I wasn’t uncomfortable the way I would have been once. We have been through hard things, too. I know how heavy it all can feel, and how much it matters to have someone willing to stay in the conversation when things are not tidy or easy.
I told them the door is open on Friday nights. Come for pizza. Come for the company. It felt good to offer a meal, something to look forward to, rather than only acknowledging how awful it all was. Sometimes a simple invitation is the kindest thing we can give.
The research backs this up. Study after study finds that sharing meals makes us happier, strengthens our friendships, and helps us feel more connected to the people around us. It is not only the food that makes the difference. It is the how of being together. The listening. The sharing. The way we tell stories and remember things together.
When our youngest son was on steroids during leukemia treatment, the way we gathered on Friday nights showed me this in a deeper way. Back then, we often had about thirty people coming for pizza. Everyone who came regularly understood what was going on. They understood that when he got angry, he could go from zero to one hundred in an instant (think Hulk). It was a side effect of the chemo drugs, not his fault. When that happened, the other kids would instantly clear the room, giving him the space he needed until the moment passed. Nobody made a big deal of it. They just made room. And they kept coming back.
That is the thing. We learn how to make space for each other, and we keep showing up because the benefits are worth it.
